A question I ask myself frequently is: "Am I the only person capable of making a decision?" I seem to cross paths with others who are not able to even choose what to have for dinner that night. I have relatives who are consumed with what color to paint their walls. I have friends who buy three shirts at a time because they need time to "think about it," and then end up returning all three of them.
I guess I really shouldn't be bothered by other peoples' indecisiveness, but I am. I tend to make snap decisions, and honestly, it's never come back to bite me. I always seem to know what I like and act accordingly. I've never been bogged down by, "should I do this or that?"
Where I really notice problems occurring is in groups of women. No one ever wants to take control. They will sit around for hours discussing where to go, what to do, etc. My former book club drove me over the edge. The person who organized it said up front, "I don't want to be in charge." That's fine, but without a leader, nothing went smoothly. Members would spend more time at meetings trying to decide what book to read next, than discussing the book we had just read. More often than not, I'd end up saying, "I'd really like to read such-and-such" and voila! We'd have our next book.
My small group I'm involved with at church is the same way. I chose the first two books we studied. One was good, the other not so good. At our meeting last week, no one had any ideas on what we should do next. So we took a field trip to a Christian bookstore. After wandering around with the group for 20 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I thumbed through a few group study books, grabbed the one that looked best and simply said, "I like this one." And would you believe they all jumped on it?
My theory on this group mentality is that no one wants to put themselves out there. The fear of choosing something no one else will like is disabling to most people. It's almost as if there is a political correctness of "we must brainstorm for hours in order to let everyone voice their opinion, but no decisions will be made." This is the main reason I don't volunteer anymore (another upcoming post). Sitting in committee meetings that last for hours where nothing gets done is not my cup of tea.
My husband thinks I've been out of the working world too long and will never fit in again. I think he's correct on that assumption.
ok, i have to confess to taking forever to settle on paint colors because i don't want to go to all the effort of painting a place and then hating the color.
ReplyDeleteas for committee meetings and book clubs and things like that i am totally with you. sitting in a leaderless vacuum makes me want to tear my hair out. let's hear everyone's opinion, come to a decision, and execute it.
Well, my last couple of posts would seem to hint that I have a problem with the whole decision-making process, but in the big picure, I don't think I do. Strike that. That sounded like I do. I don't. My husband really does, though. I am the one who steps up and says this is what we're doing/buying/going to/etc., the bulk of the time. He likes to analyze things far beyond the point of need.
ReplyDeleteI only hate making decisions because when I do suggest something, no one jumps on it...even if I'm the only one that made a suggestion.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm like you. I usually make a snap decision and rarely ever regret it.
By the way, my daughter answered your question on my blog vid today. Check it out!
Lime - I like that phrase "leaderless vacuum" - really describes some situations I've found myself in.
ReplyDeleteFADKOG - Alas, the over-analyzation thing seems to be a mindset of our age group.
Mama - Well, I guess you need to start coming up with better ideas (LOL - joking) :)