College Road Trips

We are at it again, this time with Only Son.  College visits can be fun, but they can also be a bit monotonous, especially when ALL of them claim to offer 'unique' services such as free tutoring, small class sizes (read the fine print on that one!), and professors who keep open office hours. Snooze........I say, "Show me the money!"  Between Husband and I, we have probably visited about 30 campuses with our kids. Mostly because College Daughter was being recruited to play fastpitch by a bunch of Division II schools that we knew nothing about.  And then she decided not to play after all, which was actually a very good decision for her, but a total waste of time on her parents' part!

One thing I've come to realize, the student tour guide can make or break the school.  I just wish the admission departments would clue in on this one.  We've had some great student guides, and some that left a lot to be desired.  Here are examples of the last three:

Large public university, open admissions:  Our guide began by telling us she was a middle school education major.  God help her future students.  She wore a tight Hurley t-shirt, jeans and high top tennis shoes, unlaced.  She managed to point out the "LIBARY"  yes, that's the LIE-BARRY, multiple times, as well as talking about teachers giving "homeworks."  She also pointed out the honors dorm/classroom building and said, "Dem kids don't ever leave dat building!"  Please believe me when I tell you that I'm not exaggerating.  I didn't dare meet the eyes of my husband or son during that tour.

Small private university, selective admittance:  Another female tour guide, this one with a good grasp of the English language. She said she was a bio-medical engineering major.  She wore some sort of bohemian skirt and looked as though a strong wind would knock her down.  Unfortunately, her common sense didn't quite match up with her IQ.  She spent the tour staring straight ahead and talking to the air in front of her, instead of the prospective students and parents behind her.  When I asked her why she chose this school over others, she curtly informed me that this was the ONLY school she EVER considered attending.  Oh.  My bad!  I also made the mistake of asking her, while standing in a 110 degree dorm room, if any of the freshmen dorms were air conditioned.  She told me that NO freshmen dorms on ANY campus in America had air conditioning.  Really?  Strange, but the school my daughter attends DOES.  I kept that to myself; it wasn't worth arguing with her.

Mid-size public university, semi-selective admittance:  A male tour guide named Zack, who told our group we were 'Team Zack.'  Dressed in jeans and a zippered sweatshirt, he said he was a business major.   Even though we were a large group, he managed to get the students to ask him questions, he faced us when speaking, and even took us to some of the urban legend spots around campus and told us the background stories.  And he made us all laugh, on multiple occasions.  His replies to curfew questions and what kids did on the weekends were prefaced with "Parents may not want to hear this, but...."  I appreciated his honesty.

Guess which was the only college my son is at all interested in?