When a big brown envelope comes in the mail, addressed to "the parents of (son's name)" with a return address of the mayor's office, what would you think you are receiving? I think my son is pretty great, so I'd have guessed maybe a scholarship for his fine citizenship? A 'good job, parents, we've never seen your son in traffic court' certificate?
Nope. Under the guise of a congratulations on your child's upcoming graduation, was a warning letter from the mayor and the police chief about graduation parties. Eight pages that are not meant to deter me from having a party, "but rather to provide you with information and suggestions that will help you host a fun, respectful and memorable graduation party for all."
Included in this monstrosity was 'Do's and Don't of a Courteous Graduation Party.' Some of the Do's: If you are on good terms with your neighbors, invite them to attend. It is hard to complain about something when you are at the party! Call the police department the day of the party with the details of the party and your contact information. Some of the Don'ts: Don't allow guests to ruin your child's party. If there is a problem with a guest or guests, ask them to leave. If the problem persists, contact the police. Don't allow access to your entire home to all guests. Secure your valuables!
Also included in the packet was a sample 'Dear Neighbor' letter to inform your neighbors of the hours of your party, parking situation, and the assurance that no alcohol will be served to minors.
Finally, a list of official city ordinances, including, but not limited to: Disturbing the Peace, Minor's Curfew, Playing or Permitting Adverse Noise from Sound Amplifying Devices, Sales to and Use by Underage Persons; Securing Public Accommodations (pages on underage drinking), and Prohibition Against Parking on Streets or Highways.
Lest you think I'm exaggerating, I give you Exhibit A, minus the letter with identifying information:
(Because I don't want to get in trouble with the law for complaining about this city on the internet)
Nope. Under the guise of a congratulations on your child's upcoming graduation, was a warning letter from the mayor and the police chief about graduation parties. Eight pages that are not meant to deter me from having a party, "but rather to provide you with information and suggestions that will help you host a fun, respectful and memorable graduation party for all."
Included in this monstrosity was 'Do's and Don't of a Courteous Graduation Party.' Some of the Do's: If you are on good terms with your neighbors, invite them to attend. It is hard to complain about something when you are at the party! Call the police department the day of the party with the details of the party and your contact information. Some of the Don'ts: Don't allow guests to ruin your child's party. If there is a problem with a guest or guests, ask them to leave. If the problem persists, contact the police. Don't allow access to your entire home to all guests. Secure your valuables!
Also included in the packet was a sample 'Dear Neighbor' letter to inform your neighbors of the hours of your party, parking situation, and the assurance that no alcohol will be served to minors.
Finally, a list of official city ordinances, including, but not limited to: Disturbing the Peace, Minor's Curfew, Playing or Permitting Adverse Noise from Sound Amplifying Devices, Sales to and Use by Underage Persons; Securing Public Accommodations (pages on underage drinking), and Prohibition Against Parking on Streets or Highways.
Lest you think I'm exaggerating, I give you Exhibit A, minus the letter with identifying information:
(Because I don't want to get in trouble with the law for complaining about this city on the internet)
Okay, this is the part that killed me the most...
ReplyDelete"Also included in the packet was a sample 'Dear Neighbor' letter to inform your neighbors of the hours of your party, parking situation, and the assurance that no alcohol will be served to minors."
OH. MY. GOD....you're kidding me?!?!
And this....
"Eight pages that are not meant to deter me from having a party..."
Yeah, right! After reading this letter, it would make anyone DETER from having a party.
Isn't the neighbor letter hilarious? It was an actual sample letter, with an alternative option of also turning it into an invite! LOL...I don't even think our new neighbors know we have a son, let alone a graduating senior.
DeleteOh. My. Word.
ReplyDeleteOkay, not only are the cops in your town a bit bored (as I learned in your last post), apparently they don't want to be bothered with domestic/noise disturbance calls from neighbors. Also, your mayor and police chief should maybe switch to working part time. Clearly they have too much time (and money!) on their hands. Good grief.
It does irk me to think about the money spent on postage. 400 seniors.
DeleteWow, that is just over-the-top!! Sounds like a big neighborhood bonfire would be a good idea to get rid of all those packets.
ReplyDeleteRight around prom weekend we have a smashed up car on the school's front lot to try and deter the drinking/driving. They probably do that in a lot of towns though.
My son got a speeding ticket and we got a bunch of lawyer referrals in the mail, I guess because it's public record. LOL We actually did hire one so he wouldn't get points on his license.
They did the car thing only one year. I know there are always summer parties where parents serve booze to minors, so that's why they do this I guess.......an 8 page letter is not going to stop parents who want to be 'cool' though.
DeleteGood lord on the lawyer letters!
gahhhh. Too much time, money, and lazy cops; and if people are going to be "rude" about the parties they host (alcohol to minors or not)... do they really think a letter like that will change the behavior??
ReplyDeleteIt's like a battle of the overkills......people's graduation parties are becoming bigger and more elaborate than weddings, so then the police/mayor responds with over-the-top directives. It's all so ridiculous!
DeleteSure wish they woulda done that in the neighborhood I growed up in. Suffice to say all of these suggestions and more were called for. Twice we had drunkin snots show up at the door thinking we owed them some booze as they'd lost their way back to their hosts.
ReplyDeleteThen again, urine won't wash out of flat white paint. I knew y'all needed to know that.
Are you saying they didn't invite you?
DeleteI've learned to never use flat white paint. Nothing comes off of that!
come to australia to have the party - you could cause a riot and you wouldn't see a cop.....
ReplyDelete(god help you though if you were to walk your dog on the beach without a leash...then you'd be dealing with the full force of the law.)
LOL, we need better leash laws here, I will say that. It's strange what a community will focus on.
DeleteHoly Mackerel! Is that a letter from the mayor or the Magna Carta?!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it's well-intentioned, but something like that can sure take the fun out of life.
And I doubt if the people who need to read that thing will actually do so. Sounds like the cops are just trying to cover their tails.
Btw, I love the lines about "a scholarship for his fine citizenship" and " a'good job, parents, we've never seen your son in traffic court' certificate.'"
Take care!
The Magna Carta.....hahaha......I'm glad we can entertain each other at local government expense! And you are correct, those big banners across town 'Parents who host, lose the most!' don't seem to do much good either. i have friends who think nothing of giving their kids beer at parties and weddings. Maybe I'm just a stick in the mud?
DeleteHope you are feeling better for the holiday weekend!
That sounds pretty over the top. Have there been a lot of complaints about graduation parties in the past or is it just some crazy bureaucratic exercise?
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be one or two parties every year that involve parents providing alcohol to minors. I've never heard any complaints about noise or any of the other. I find it hard to believe that's it worse here than anywhere else.
Delete'round here booze at graduation is some sort of right of passage to many it seems. I've lost a lot of acquaintances due to uncontrolled laughter when hearing the aftermath .... you know, urine, puking, and police sirens .... I am a cruel being it would seem.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed much more prevalent back in my day. Of course, those were the days when we could legally drink 3.2 beer at 18.
DeleteYou would think that it was more prevalent when you hop in the WayBack machine but I think it only seems that way because you can't talk as openly about it now. Parents have somehow fooled themselves into thinking it's better to 'teach' their children how to drink before they're legal "cause they're going to do it anyway".
ReplyDeleteWow, that's very... yeah I don't even have a word for it. I wonder if any of the recipients actually use that information packet?
ReplyDeleteI happily used it as recycled printer paper.
Deletei'm speechless......truly
ReplyDeleteToo bad local govt never seems to be....
DeleteHi Bij,
ReplyDeleteMy parents never got one of these!! Hawaii can be partyland, with people throwing luas, cookouts and whatever at a drop of a hat. And grad parties come naturally!!
This one would go over in HI with a big laugh.
Incredible but true.
It's going over like a lead balloon here.
Delete