He couldn't understand why I would shop for a dress nine months in advance. Maybe because it might take me that long to find a freakin' dress that fits me right and doesn't look matronly, but also doesn't look like a prom dress? And then because I'm the mother of the bride and I need to let the mother of the groom know what color I'm wearing so she can coordinate her dress choice? Meanwhile, taking into consideration the color of the bridesmaids' dresses? Because we need to look good in a group shot???
Oh men, who can just go to a tux shop and get measured and be done with it. You have it so easy.
All of this reminds me of why I despise any sort of formal picture taking. I've always admired people who have a lovely family portrait hanging on their wall. But not enough to ever schedule one myself. The stress of finding five color-coordinated outfits would have pushed me right over the edge in my prime years of motherhood.
Remember the good old days of senior pictures? You found a blouse or shirt/tie that you liked and you went to the school-suggested studio and they took about a dozen shots and then you went back and got a few 8X10's for grandma and grandpa and a small box of wallets to hand out to friends?
Senior pictures have morphed into something akin to the 'Bridezilla' phenomenon. Now, you have multiple wardrobe changes with full body shots (forget just worrying about your top, now you need matching pants, shoes, etc.), props (sports equipment, skateboards, pets, musical instruments, cars - yes, you read that right), and BOTH outdoor and indoor poses.
Can I just tell you that I was never so glad to have my third and final child done with this parental nightmare? Here was my mental checklist each summer we went through this:
1. Schedule appointment on a day they didn't work, taking into consideration that it should be closer to the end of the summer, so that they weren't alabaster white. Also, make sure wisdom teeth surgery is no where near this date.
2. Strategically plan haircut so that hair is not too long, not too short.
3. Buy dress and casual clothes for the formal and informal poses (not so bad for the girls, who had interest in this; just annoying with my son).
4. Iron everything and put on hangers for transportation to studio.
5. Remind my senior that he/she is NOT allowed to get sick near appointment date.
6. Pray it doesn't rain on the appointment date, because then outdoor shots will need to be rescheduled and you will have to live through above list again.
I'm sure that there was more, but I have blocked it from my memory. I really thought I had put all this behind me and that I could breathe easy, knowing that my kids are grown and I no longer need to worry about portrait pictures, school pictures, team pictures, etc.
Oh yeah, weddings . . . .
I hate formal photos of any description. As you say, all the nightmarish preparations that have to go into them. Why aren't more casual everyday photos enough? We had a register office wedding that avoided all the formalities. There's a pic of the two of us in the register office and that's it.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was just me! Glad I'm not alone in thinking it's too much trouble.
Delete"Oh men, who can just go to a tux shop and get measured and be done with it. You have it so easy."
ReplyDeleteAnd you are SO RIGHT about that, men have it so much easier. Plus, we don't even have to BUY anything, we just rent and return it.
I have always said that it's much more challenging (and expensive) for a woman to purchase an outfit for a special occasion, because it's not only the dress, but also the purse, shoes, hosiery, jewelry, etc.
"Now, you have multiple wardrobe changes with full body shots (forget just worrying about your top, now you need matching pants, shoes, etc.), props (sports equipment, skateboards, pets, musical instruments, cars - yes, you read that right), and BOTH outdoor and indoor poses."
OMG...that's unbelievable! And it reminds me of when I worked for Glamour Shots, where women could select an entire THEME for their photograph.
Anyway, I think you're smart to shop for a dress nine months in advance because it'll give you more time to find the perfect one. And you WILL!
Fun post!
X
I will have to post a photo of the dress (on a hanger!) I wish there were more wedding gown rental places. My daughter looked into it, but the drive was too far.
Deleteit's much easier to be a man, so simple. two pair of shoes, three maybe. no fuss. with women not so much. so many things have to be right and the stars must be aligned. i hope you find a dress.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Val! My spouse has a fuller closet than me, but he needs dress clothes for work, which I don't need.
Delete"Oh men, who can just go to a tux shop and get measured and be done with it. You have it so easy." Hey, it's a choice and not a condition. Just order yourself a nice tux and be done with it. Be a trend setter! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, alla these staged photo shoots are for the birds. Glad my daughter and son in law had to do it and not me.
Back in college, I wore skinny ties with button down shirts. I doubt my daughter would appreciate an 80's wedding though.
Deletethat's awesome! hey, what's the harm in asking?
Delete"Oh men, who can just go to a tux shop and get measured and be done with it." You're so right, Bijoux, that's what I did for my brother's wedding.
ReplyDeleteWow, I had no idea senior photos had turned into such a nightmare!
I wore a suit to school for my senior photo, but a classmate came in with a jacket, tie, and the raunchiest pair of jeans I have seen in my life. It looked like two different bodies had been sewn together.
Good luck with the dress! I'm sure you'll look stunning!
Thanks, Rob. I've looked at my kids yearbooks and some of the outfits are hilarious (and probably not meant to be).
Deletei have never heard of outfit changes for school photo's - that is scary.
ReplyDeletemen do get it easy on the dressing up front - i just take it for granted that i'll wear my black suit to any sort of formal affair - mind you it could be time to update - last time i wore it i got a few comments that flared slacks were no longer in fashion!
It seems as though everything gets overdone now, especially where high schoolers are concerned. Kids spend more money on their prom than I did for my wedding!
DeleteThat is a nice family portrait, what I'm trying to figure out is if it is your family portrait, LOL :)
ReplyDeleteGood to get looking at dresses to wear for the wedding; it will be amazing how fast the next 9 months will go.
I took the advice someone said when it was time to get son's senior pictures done. They said don't go all out buying this package and that package. Get a few to share with family and close friends, one to display, but they said the graduation pictures usually come down when the wedding pictures come up. Seemed like a wise idea so that's what we did.
I remember my MIL bought every single picture from our wedding that the photographer took. So although we only got the minimal package that came with what we wanted to pay, I now have every single picture taken that day :)
betty
I chose that photo because it made me laugh that their clothes matched the scenery.
DeleteI didn't want to buy those senior picture packages either, but they make it so the price is the same if you get the package or try to buy individually. It was like, for $25 more, you get three times as many pictures, so might as well get the package.
I admit I do like the senior pictures because I think it can be the only time you get your portrait done by a professional, plus you are at an age when you look your best.
Both my sons refused to have senior pictures taken. They declared that it was a silly waste of money and they weren't participating. I didn't argue.
ReplyDeleteMy son didn't want to either, but he tries to get out of everything. I won and I do cherish the pictures.
ReplyDeleteJen and I told our kids that we wanted the standard 8x10 bust shot, and same for each of the grandmas. After that, they were on their own nickel. A couple of 'em had the whole spread done, but most of 'em just bought what we were payin' for. . .
ReplyDeleteAt our wedding, I wore a tux, and all my groomsmen wore suits. Jen wore her mother's wedding dress, and her bridesmaids wore 'nice' pastel dresses that weren't prom-y. We aimed at keeping it simple, too. . .
And I do like having the family portraits to look back on, but you're right - the hassle of scheduling, and getting all the details co-ordinated, makes it an every-ten-years-or-so kinda thing. I recall one such extended family portrait, which my mom scheduled when Jen and my two sisters all had newborns. Two days before the sitting, my youngest brother, who was 17 at the time, got a Mohawk. I thought Mom would kill him. . .
Did you still go through with the family photo? Is it in the Awkward Family Photos calendar?
DeleteOh, yes, we did the photo, and Brother's 'hawk is preserved for all time. Kinda ironic, actually, 'cuz he's now (at 43) quite bald; kind of a genetic 'reverse Mohawk'. Karma can be such a bitch. . . ;)
DeleteOK, I'll admit I had no idea either why you would be shopping for a dress 9 months in advance. Just go ahead and blame my Y chromosome, okay? Though after reading your explanation, it makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteKind of.
My senior picture was one pose, one shot, and done. Much simpler back then!
Ahhh, the good ole days of once and done. The world was a simpler place without choices!
DeleteOur family has never had a formal portrait taken and this is a very good reason not to ever have it done. Every fall our family gets our picture taken (I set up the pose and ask a random stranger to take our pic with my camera) and that is about as fancy as we get. No matching outfits either.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see this dress once you get it! :)
You are smart to do it that way! I will email you a photo when I actually find a dress. My daughter chose the second dress she tried on! I know that won't be happening for me!
Deletehere was my direction for the 3 mothers and 2 grandmothers associated with our wedding. pick a full length dress in whatever color you like, whatever style you like. i do not care if you match or not. to my bridesmaid, who wore red (xmas wedding) i said, pick red shoes that you feel like wearing all day. i don't care if they are flats or heels, open of close toed. ditto their hair. wear it how you feel happiest. heck, i braided my own in 10 minutes. can you tell i am not interested much in excessive fuss?
ReplyDeleteThe current trend seems to be to not match anymore, except got a color range......like blue.
DeleteMother of the Bride! How wonderful. Congratulations! How goes the dress shopping? That would be high pressure.
ReplyDelete