Dreaming Is Free

Aren't dreams fascinating?  I'm not one to read too much into them, but I love the way the mind works.  I often think of dreams as leftover thoughts from the day, usually without meaning.  But here are two dreams family members had recently that really do seem to carry some weight!

My oldest daughter, who is getting married very soon, told me about this dream she had last week.  It took place after the wedding, at the reception.  An older relative from the groom's side was talking to an older relative from the bride's (our) side.  Suddenly, the two realized that they were related (and not by marriage!)  My daughter then began freaking out in the dream, thinking that her marriage was over because she was related to the groom!

I thought that was a hilarious dream (since I didn't have it).  I don't think she's worried about getting married, but there must be some sort of concern going on in her mind.  Ironically, I had just heard someone that day talking about the Roosevelt series on PBS and that Eleanor and FDR were fifth cousins.  I'm just glad I'm clearly not related to my spouse's family.........

The other dream, my husband had the night we dropped our son off at college last month.  In the dream, our children were toddler and preschool ages.  We were at a lake fishing (something we've never done) and he was on one side of the lake, and I was on the other with our two year old son.  Suddenly, our son got into a Little Tykes tugboat sandbox (pictured) and was drifting out into the water.  My husband thought for sure our son would drown and he was in a panic.  Then our son, as his 19 year old current self, stepped out into the water and saved his two year old self by picking him up out of the tugboat and walking him to shore.

Let's just say that we have had some concerns about our son (namely, him surviving his major), so dropping him off at college this year wasn't as joyous as last year.  I hope that my husband's dream really does mean that my son can save himself.

Comments

  1. I love the dreams where I'm flying. But I've had other, much creepier dreams, too. Oddly, I never had the showing-up-naked-at-the-final-exam dream. . .

    Most states will allow second cousins (common great-grandparent) to marry; they would share, on average, 1/8 of their DNA. Some states will allow first cousins (common grandparent; 1/4 of their DNA) to marry. If you have ancestry that goes back before the American Revolution on this side of the ocean, you are almost certainly descended from at least one, and probably more than one, first-cousin marriage. I mean, the pool of available spouses just wasn't that big in the 1600s.

    And I'm not even getting into any 'Arkansas' jokes. Even though my sister is married to a guy from Arkansas. . .

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    1. One of the fun things I've found in my genealogical perusings is that my birth-mother and my adoptive father are 8th-cousins, and both of them are related to the Kelloggs (of cereal company fame); not nearly close enough for me to show up asking for my share, tho. . .

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    2. The only 'standard' dreams I have are being late to class and not being able to find the room. Very cool about the distant relationship between birth and adoptive families!

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    3. OK, this is beating a horse long-since dead, I realize, but just for the sake of saying so, Catholic canon law allows second-cousin marriages, but not first cousins. Altho, a dispensation can be 'applied for' if there is a compelling reason for first cousins to marry (eg, to unite the crowns of Austria and Hungary, say. . .)

      ;)

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  2. "Aren't dreams fascinating? "

    Yes, they sure are! Many, many years ago, I took a class on "Dream Interpretation" and it was very interesting. They say that only the dreamer can interpret their dreams because their subconscious uses images and symbols that only THEY can understand.

    But I'll tell you that when I read about your daughters dream, I immediately felt that the reason the two relatives (from both sides) were related, was because perhaps that represented that their marriage is going to be very successful and that both families are going to get along "as if" they were related by blood.

    I think that dream was a very good sign.

    And I think you're spot on about your son's dream meaning that he can take care of himself.

    Another good sign!

    Have a FAB weekend, my friend!
    X

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    1. Thanks for the positive thoughts, Ron! I like your interpretation of the wedding dream because our families do get along. I think her future inlaws and extended family are fabulous!

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  3. It wasn't so long ago that it was routine for even first cousins to marry.

    Dreams are, in my (clinical) opinion, our way of working through issues that are important to us at the time. Processing past stuff, worrying about future stuff, whatever. The leftover bits are called day retention and it makes sense that our minds would throw that in. Freud called dreams "the royal road to the unconscious,' because looking at them helps to understand things that are below the level of your conscious awareness but still figural for us. I don't believe in universal symbols and think those books that give you a meaning for every item in your dream are just silly. Dreams are often complicated and highly nuanced and I always look at what associations the dreamer has to each element. I do not believe dreams are prophetic. Whenever someone claims they had a dream and it came true, they are conveniently ignoring the many many times they had a dream and it didn't come true. That's a common logical fallacy - to ignore the non-occurrence of events. So your husband's dream neither means your son will be able to take care of himself or that he won't be able to. It just means your son is a concern for him.

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    1. Yes, I agree with it all. That's why I think of dreams as leftovers....thoughts that you are still processing or worrying about.....or just random stuff from your day that gets thrown into the mix.

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  4. Some dreams can be very interesting! And then there are the ones I have when I have to go to the bathroom. I mean, actually have to go but am sleeping, so... I will dream about going into a public bathroom and it's filthy and I can't go. I'll try... I'll be tiptoeing thru water on the floor, or trying to flush a toilet that's about to overflow or I'm looking for a stall to go but I never get to relieve myself in the dream I guess because I still actually have to go in real life. LOL I have had that type of dream quite a few times ... I guess now that I'm older I can't always make it through the night without having to potty but if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep my body just wants to stay in bed!

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    1. I completely forgot that I also have dreams about needing to use a bathroom and not being able to find one. Usually mine involve having no privacy, not that the bathroom is filthy! That's hilarious! And I always need to get up to go, so I guess you are on to something.

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  5. I've had a few recurring dreams and even 2 recurring that ended up to be premonitions of sorts. I don't dream often but the flying thing comes up often.

    Craig about covered the whole married-into-the-family thing.

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    1. I've never had the flying dream. I'm surprised so many are commenting on the cousin thing.....that's not a real concern!

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    2. try it, it's one of the more interesting experiences ;-)

      Not to long ago we found some kissing cousins in our ancestral tree so that kinda caught my eye. I think they were 2nd cousins in this cae.

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  6. I read Secret Agent Woman's comment. I tend to agree with the majority of what she said, though I do know that God does talk to people through dreams; the Old Testament has proof of that.

    Very interesting dreams. I can see the worry of the wedding day being a stress, no matter how well prepared one is and how eager someone is to be married. I can see too your husband's dream about your son. I do hope he has a successful college year and does well with what he needs to do with his major.

    When I first started doing hospitality at our previous church, I would have dreams that we ran out of food, I got there too late, I couldn't set up the things for this reason or that reason. Once I got comfortable doing hospitality, those dreams dissipated for the most part. I do remember having dreams after my mom of my mom, but I always knew deep down (how I don't know in the dream) that she was dead.

    I agree with Secret Agent Woman. I don't take too much stock in dream interpretation. I did remember reading somewhere (but where I don't remember) that if you dream you are dead, you are actually dead, but I had a dream a bit ago of being dead and I'm still alive.

    So who knows?

    How exciting with the upcoming wedding :)

    betty

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    1. I have had similar dreams as you about the hospitality. Usually I don't feel worried in real life about something, but the dream will make it seem as though I am concerned. I often have dreams like you mentioned where something is happening (a person who died is there) and I know in my dream that it's not real.

      Yes, we are super excited about the wedding!

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  7. In my family first cousins married. They were past child bearing years...

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    1. Fortunately, that's not something we are worried about here.

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  8. It sounds like you tend to get anxiety dreams - being late to class, not being able to find the room, needing to use a bathroom. Many of my dreams are baffling nonsense, but the meaningful ones are usually anxiety dreams - I'm lost or I'm being chased or I've left something behind somewhere. And I think Agent is right about dreams being a way of processing stuff that wasn't fully processed at the time.

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    1. Yes, mine are either anxiety dreams or nonsense. I would prefer some good sex dreams!

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  9. Lol. Sounds like she is really nervous about the big day. I bet when it actually arrives and goes smoothly, she will look back and laugh at her dreams.

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    1. Oddly, she really doesn't seem nervous, but she likes to be in control, so I think that's factoring into her dreams. You can't control everything!

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  10. Dreams are fascinating, Bijoux, and I've had some first class humdingers. The ones you described are clearly sparked by anxiety. It's amazing how the subconscious mind can react to worries and fears. We may not even realize during the waking hours, but then things get crazy at night..

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    1. For sure on the night time craziness! Even when I'm awake at night, my worries seem to multiply.

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  11. I really want to know what causes our dreams. I keep having murder related dreams lately involving my loved ones and really it is freaking me out!

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    1. Are you watching a lot of violent movies or TV dramas? That would be my guess! I'd be freaked out as well!

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  12. i often dream of the fairer sex....
    (mostly I'm awake though)

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  13. I saw a special once where an expert said in most cases, even if you are distantly related, it's not going to be a problem--it's just that certain genetic diseases can be encouraged if people are within the same gene pool.

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    1. I've read that the best genetic outcome is to marry a different race, but that's a whole new topic!

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  14. My ex-wife was very much into dream interpretation. Which was interesting, because our marriage turned into a nightmare.

    {Blows on microphone}. I'm here all week, folks...

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  15. When I wake up and remember a dream, invariably I think, "I had no idea my brain had this on its mind." The other night, I was running a women's 5K in my dreams, and the whole race took place inside a suburban house, with all of us clocking up the distance by running up and down and around the house.

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