I read this short piece today and found it to be very powerful. It won't stop me from doing the above (which I stand by as a method of preserving one's sanity), but I think its message of empathy for fellow mankind is an important one.
http://urbanconfessional.org/blog/howtodisagree
And I'm listening to whatever it is you want to tell me . . .
Wow! That was great! And I really should just go now.
ReplyDeleteBut… I have stuff to say! Are you listening??? LOL
So I haven't actually unfollowed anyone on FB (I've deleted some over the years… just because… not for politics specifically). Oh, but in the last couple of weeks I've been ready to! As you mentioned, just for sanity, it still might have to happen. This election cycle is just toooo weird! Since I really do try to understand some of a person's story… I wait… and hope that their next post will be something I can click 'like' or 'haha' for or leave a comment. Funny though, the few that I'm referring to usually never comment or like most of my stuff even when it has absolutely nothing to do with politics or anything controversial. Family pictures should get a little love, eh? Hmm… I think maybe they have 'unfollowed' me.
I might post that link and see if anyone responds.
I think there are a lot of lurkers on fb that never like anything. I'm of the opinion that you will never change anybody's mind, so why bother posting so much of this crap? Also, I don't really want people to know my every opinion. Mystery is a good thing! LOL!
DeleteThankfully we just get to watch up here. That post does make you think. If people would just take a step back and stop trying to ram everything down your throat it wouldn't be so bad. So glad I deleted facebook though, all the crap on there is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about just deleting my app until after the election. That way I will stay off of it.
DeleteWhat a great post, thanks so much for sharing the link! And it just doesn't pertain to the election, but a lot of things we all might disagree on.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be okay when it comes to discussing opposing views as long as the person (persons) I am talking with speak without getting nasty. Throughout the 9 years I've had my blog, I've post about several controversial topics, and although some people disagreed with me, the discussion in comments never got heated or nasty.
As far as the election goes, this is one time I am not discussing my choice of candidate (on my blog or with people I work with) because all the energy around this election is way too volatile. I've never seen an election (both Democrat and Republican) that has brought out the most intense feelings in people.
Have a FAB week, my friend!
I've noticed that about your blog, Ron, and I think it's because you never say anything negative or condescending about anyone else's beliefs. You are a class act that way! Therefore, no one is scared to give you their honest opinion. Well, unless they like Hello Kitty! Bahahaha!
DeleteI agree you should try to understand why someone has a different opinion from your own, rather than just rejecting them as crazy or stupid. Otherwise you just become more and more narrow-minded and you never learn anything or go in a new direction. I've unfriended a few Facebook friends but mainly because they were boring rather than having different opinions!
ReplyDeleteWell, no one should have to put up with boring! LOL! Now I'm wondering what boring looks like on fb? Dog and cat videos?
DeleteOh, you know, what I had for dinner, or I've got the flu, or somebody stole my parking space. But I quite like dog and cat videos....
DeleteI'm seeing that folks today don't know how to have a rational discussion, much less disagree. They don't know how to construct a rational argument, it's just all emotion. The other side isn't just wrong, they're wicked and stupid; and smart, virtuous folks like us shouldn't have to listen to them. . .
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, I used to hear people say, "I may not like what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Nowadays, if someone doesn't like what you say, they're more likely to threaten to sue you for the emotional distress it causes them to have to listen to you. . .
Politics has become invested with something WAAAYYY too close to ultimate significance; it's like it's become a religion for lots of folks. . .
TOTALLY agree with you, Craig. It's like people's politics and religion are one and the same.
DeleteAnd the crazy part is that college campuses are the worst when it comes to lack of free speech. I've read a lot about the microaggression culture and it's alarming. That last place you'd want to be a guest speaker right now is at a college!
I don't typically unfollow or unfriend people because they have different opinions than I do. But if they start spewing hate or post pictures of abused animals or kids...then yes, I have unfriended them. I'm just not going to put up with that sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteWell, that would be just plain scary and I'd report them!
Delete“I don’t usually do this ...." - when I see this in my feed it's usually from the most out-spoken yet superficial personal pundit out there, though there have been exceptions. I only play the un-follow card on offensive, perverse, or abusive folks.
ReplyDeleteClueless yet staunch folk, on the other hand, are a complete riot to have around!!
LOL on the folks who say they don't usually do this! Yup, those are the ones who do!
DeleteGreat link - thanks for sharing! I especially like this quote:
ReplyDelete“Hear the Biography, not the ideology. ”
Easier said than done for most. Like you, I have (and will continue to) remove those whose views are so contrary to my own I can no longer stand to read them. But I always make an effort to engage these individuals (though maybe not quite as eloquently as the author of this post).
Isn't it an interesting group? I liked that quote a lot, too.
DeleteI will occasionally 'visit' people I unfollow just to 'like' anything normal they post. That's how nice I am! Ha!
Great link.
ReplyDeleteAs for FB, I just go there once in a way. Too much of self importance over there.
I can't take the selfies of anyone over the age of 30. Grow up, peeps!
DeleteThat was a great article! I catch myself sometimes prepping answers when someone speaks about his or her differing opinion. Then I have to remind myself to not do this. Good listening is really a great skill. I'm working on it. :-)
ReplyDeleteOn Facebook, I don't unfollow/unfriend people. I just scroll really fast. Hehehe.
I made the mistake once of engaging. I made a simple comment that I thought both political parties were basically the same with regards to empty promises. All hell broke loose and I learned my lesson!
Delete"Life isn't a Facebook feed." Oh, what a brilliant line! This was a fabulous article, Bijoux. I spend far too much time on Facebook and while I'll listen to my real world Facebook friends' opposing views, I have been known to unfriend people that I only met online. Maybe I should be a little more open-minded...
ReplyDeleteI thought that was a great line, too! I really try to put myself in someone else's shoes when it comes to people's POV. On a related note, I just read an article that said people who read fiction are significantly better at empathy than others. Isn't that interesting?
DeleteThat was a great article. Very insightful. There is always a story behind people's views and opinions, isn't there? It was neat that he just listened and in time her story came out. I bet she welcomed that more than the antics of the convention.
ReplyDeleteOnly thing I block on Facebook at times is sad posts about dogs that need a rescue quick or they are in danger of being euthanized. You can't save them all sadly and it just breaks my heart to see their faces, so those I'll block. But as you know from a recent post of mine, I do sometimes engage in "discussing" other people's beliefs. Maybe I should just listen more :)
betty
You have to respect someone who has a reason behind their opinion instead of just spouting one party's rhetoric. I don't blame you for blocking depressing posts!
DeleteAt work, I listen (supportively) all the time to people whose opinions I disagree with completely. But FB and blogs are my safe place. I don't actually mind someone disagreeing as long as it is nicely. But I'm not subjecting myself to rants or hate. I have some very good friends on FB whose politics differ from mine and I wouldn't unfriend them for just that. But I did have a childhood friend send a friend request and when I checked his page, I thought, "Nope." I found his views on the world appalling and I didn't want it in my life.
ReplyDeleteI like that I can unfollow people without unfriending them on fb. I also like that I can set my privacy to different settings for different people. Makes its easier to accept friend requests from people I really haven't had much contact with in 35 years!
DeleteI came across the "Free Listening" post last week. It does seem to be something positive, listening without judging does seem to allow us to get deeper into the reasons for our beliefs. The way we "like" things and "defriend" others can mean we only hear what we want to hear and then suffer from "confirmation bias" (a common problem these days).
ReplyDeleteI'm not familiar with that term, so I will have to read about it. Thanks!
DeleteI have to agree with the post. I don't unfollow if I disagree with someone I just scroll on by. My feeling is I have no right to tell someone what they can and cannot post on their profile. I only have control over what I post on mine and how I react to others
ReplyDeleteVery true! Our own reactions are what's important.
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