The topic fascinates me because siblings seem to universally remember events differently. My brother and I have completely different memories of childhood. I've listened to my husband and his siblings disagree about past events. And yes, my own children seem to remember varying tidbits of their childhood, that is even different to how I remember it to be. Especially if Mom (me) was perceived to be in the wrong, I might add! A favorite family complaint is that Mom (I) made my oldest go to school on Senior Skip Day. My memory is that 1)I did make her go to school because she was only a Junior when she first asked, and 2)She wasn't able to skip when it was her senior year because she had a softball game that day and students have to be in school on game days. These recollections are denied and I'm still blamed.
Which brings us to a more recent argument between my husband and me. My son, who is graduating from college this December, informed us already that he has no interest in walking (attending) his graduation ceremony. To which my husband stated, "Well, neither did I." And I was like, ?????????????? because my memory is that we attended our college graduation together!
I have distinct memories of sitting in the parking lot of the venue with him in his white Nissan Sentra, standing together in a mass of people waiting to go in through the basement entrance, and running into a former boyfriend and having to make awkward introductions. Admittedly, I don't have much memory of the actual ceremony, but I do know that I was there. The question then is, was my husband there, or did he skip it and just have the diploma mailed, as he claimed?
If you've ever been in a situation like this, you know how insane it can make you. I started to question my own memories. Did I make it all up? I know I did not have a car at the time, so did my parents pick me up at my apartment and take me to the graduation? Did I stand around by myself during the wait time, or did I find some of my friends to hang out with? Was that really the last time I saw my ex? Did I really earn a college degree?? Who the hell did I even marry?
Yes, I was truly bothered by the whole thing for about a month. Then, I came across this gem in a photo album the other day:
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| I believe he's trying to fly. Now I know I'm not the crazy one. |
That's funny...happens to me as well. Maybe he skipped out of his HS ceremony, or from the looks of the photo, he may have celebrated vigorously before the ceremony and does not remember it.
ReplyDeleteNice try in making excuses for him, but I believe the real truth is just that his memory sucks!
DeleteIt is interesting how our memories sometimes get mixed up, but the photo seems to prove your point!
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how we can remember so much detail in certain experiences and completely forget other things even happened.
DeleteA picture is worth a thousand words, or maybe four words in this case...See I Told You!
ReplyDeleteThis is funny and so true, my brother is a year younger than me and then my sister four years younger, when we three are together the stories of our childhoods are all the same stories with very different details depending on who is talking at the time, we all know my version is the correct one though....Right?
Excellent post Lady.
Yup, I was happy to be right, mostly because it would have been bizarre that I remembered details that never really happened!
DeleteOMG....that is SO funny! I laughed my ass off not only when I saw the photograph (which is stellar by the way), but also because of your caption! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, you're absolutely right because my brother and I have completely different childhood memories of certain events; some of which he can't even remember happening at all. I wonder why that is? Could it be that we actually experience (and go through) things differently or block things out?
FUN post, my friend! Have a faaaaabulous rest of your week.
I was actually looking for something else when I came across this picture and it made my day! I remember learning about different ways the brain catalogs memories (like short term, long term) but I don't know why a good memory can be blocked. It's really quite interesting!
DeleteI hope you didn't gloat too much when you showed him the picture? My hubby and me have a lot of different takes about the same situations we've been part of. Unless it is really truly off base from what I know is the truth (LOL) I let him tell his side of the events as factual and go with the flow about it. We both have different takes of the adoption stories of both kids. I often equate it to things that hold our interest. For instance, when I'm typing medical reports, sometimes I'll get the same patient who was seen by different specialists, i.e., cardiology, pulmonary, etc. The cardiologist tells the patient's history from his perspective as a heart doctor, the pulmonologist as a lung doctor, etc., but its the same patient. Kind of like the gospels written in the Bible. Its the same story of Jesus told by different perspectives. So memories might be like this indeed from our different perspectives at the time and then carried to the future.
ReplyDeletebetty
I didn't gloat, but I did tell him how weird it was to have NO memory of attending his own college graduation. The event was held off campus at the Coliseum which was a HUGE indoor stadium where the Cavs played and rock concerts were held (it's gone now). I can't imagine not knowing I was there!
DeleteDid he have a little too much to drink that day? I've seen plenty recall things differently and say the same sorta thing 50 different ways. But thankfully my memory is good, so I can usually recall fact from fiction.
ReplyDeleteFact from fiction is most important!
DeleteI have a really good memory, so I generally just assume that what I remember is how it happened. But Jenn and I have a couple of things that we just remember differently, sometimes virtually opposite of each other. We don't quarrel about it anymore, but I don't think either of us has particularly won the other one over, either. . . ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm in the midst of a rather significant, uh, dispute with one of my sisters, over some long-ago misbehavior of mine (which I don't dispute, in global terms), but the core of her grievance is something that absolutely did not happen. So what's a brother to do?
My husband has had exactly those issues with a sister and he swears he did not do the things she claims. Considering her general attitude towards the world, I tend to believe him.
DeleteOh yes, my brother and I remember things about our childhood very differently. I'm 2 years older than he is and I think I would remember things more clearly than he does but sometimes I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteMy brother tends to remember details about things that are very unimportant to me, so there's that!
DeleteSo he wasn't there but he was there? Interesting. Well, the mind can play tricks on us and some of those tricks I don't even mind. Sometimes alered memories beat the original ones, you know. Hope you're doing fine, Bijoux.
ReplyDeleteBlue
*altered
DeleteYes! Let's pretend we had ideal childhoods and call it a day!
DeleteYes, let's.
DeleteAha! Photographic evidence! Congrats on winning. :)
ReplyDeleteI am fascinated by the Mandela Effect and have written my own blog post on it before. Like many others, I am 100% convinced it was The Berenstein Bears growing up!
I do remember your post on the Mandela Effect. But that's because I have such a great memory!
DeleteHa! I believe your husband is busted!
ReplyDeleteI was astounded when my older son absolutely insisted that he spent his entire childhood watching television, never went outdoors and never did anything fun. He was outside all the time. Broke his arm in the cow field behind our house. Played with the many boys who lived on our street. We went hiking, camping, to peace marches and all sorts of festivals. Took piano, guitar and saxophone lessons and went to countless musical events. We took them on a sailing cruise in the West Indies, out to San Francisco and Yosemite, to the rain forest in Costa Rica, and even on a safari in Tanzania. But no, he swears he sat all day every day watching TV. Grrr!
OMG.....that would be funny, if it weren't so annoying as the parent!!! My son tends to claim he's never been anywhere, even though we took the kids on three trips out west, besides the usual Washington DC, etc. When questioned further, he says he's never been to NYC or Chicago. LOL
DeleteWell, not the craziest one ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhatchootalkinbout Willis?
Delete"Now I know I'm not the crazy one."
DeleteNow between you and Cranky I'm reminded of my mother and her 'memories'. We've been finding out more and more that her memories are, well, a bit off. That is to say, everything points towards them being fabrications ......
But back to the subject at hand, we know whereof you speak. We're frequently at odds over prior happening and, while it's not agreed to, I've concluded that Queenie remembers things according to how she wanted them to go whereas my memory seems focused on reality, though seems skewed towards the annoyingly negative aspects. Makes for fun reminiscing!!!
wow, this is surly informative and scary ? :P
ReplyDeleteMaybe thats why I think I was born in Hawaii lol
http://slimexpectations.com/
It would be a god place to be from!
DeleteI think it's an established fact that everyone remembers events differently. Which is why the police have such a hard time questioning witnesses to a crime. Somehow your brain changes details according to what you think should have happened rather than what actually did. Jenny and I often disagree about some past event. My mum and I ditto. Sometimes it's handy to have a video that confirms the reality!
ReplyDeleteOr social media? I have to laugh just thinking about how different life is today than when we were graduating!
DeleteI totally understand how different people remember different things or remember the same things differently, but this graduation thing is a bit bizarre. Are you sure he wasn't just pulling your leg?
ReplyDeleteNo, he wasn't! He has no memory of it whatsoever.
DeleteMy goodness, our memories really do play tricks on us. There was a Japanese film called "Rashomon" that deals with this same issue.
ReplyDeleteYou are the Movie Man!
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