Weekend Update: Autism Awareness Month

Although Autism Awareness Month has been lost in the shuffle of Covid-19, I still wanted to do a post on it, as I do every April. For those who are newer to my blog, our Middle Child, who is now in her late 20's, was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder when she was five years old. Following high school, she earned an Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Education. After a few years of rather unsuccessful employment in her field, she got a job as a page at our local library and she has been enjoying this part-time job for more than 3 years now. The only downside is that the county library system is unionized and does not allow non-union workers (pages) to have more than 15 hours/week.

This leaves a lot of free time for someone who does not have a lot going on in her life to begin with. Her only other activities are piano/voice lessons once/week and she teaches a children's Sunday School class at church once/month. Last year was particularly difficult for her because her best friend (and truly, her only 'real' friend) was getting married. While she was excited to be a bridesmaid and all the duties and fun that went with that, she rightfully realized that it would change their relationship. And it has. Her friend moved further away and they only see each other once every other month or so.

I had tried over the years to find activities for her to participate in. She doesn't do sports and the local autism group met sporadically and consisted of males who only talked about gaming, which she has zero interest in. I did find a promising group for adults with autism, but they met on a Friday night at 7 pm about 30 miles away. Since she doesn't drive, it would have been up to me to take her there, drop her off at a restaurant she's never been with people she doesn't know, and then find some way to occupy my time for two hours. It just wasn't going to work.

I spent hours searching the web for some social activity/group for her to join, while also being concerned about the safety aspect, as she is rather naive for her age. I was excited to find an adult group for those with disabilities that met at a mega-church nearby. I emailed the coordinator and explained the situation, emphasizing that my daughter was high functioning and looking for friendships with peers. The woman, who was an occupational therapist I might add, assured me that the 'majority' of the group was high functioning. My daughter was excited to give it a try. As she is nervous about getting lost in unfamiliar settings, I walked her in to the church and helped her find the meeting room. I knew instantly that it wasn't going to work. I'd have characterized the group as severely disabled. Sigh. When I picked my daughter up, she said that the woman running the group was very nice, but that she didn't feel like it was "the right fit" (her diplomatic words!)  The only person who she could communicate with had been a blind girl her age. Honestly, I was super annoyed that the woman had said it was a high functioning group when it clearly wasn't. She emailed me a few weeks later asking why my daughter hadn't returned and I told her as nicely as I could. She then suggested that my daughter give the regular college and career group a try. My daughter went once and found it to be very boring as all they did was watch a 45 minute video on a topic she didn't care about and there was no social interaction.

Around this time, my daughter had a short autobiography that she had written published by the autism society on their website. She forwarded the link to a number of people we know, including the new youth director at our church, who happens to be a female close to my daughter's age. Who also happened to be attempting to start a young women's fellowship group in our community. The Lord works in mysterious ways, right? This young woman has made a major impact on my daughter's life over the last 10 months. Not only has she been a true friend to my daughter, meeting at a local coffee shop with her every month, but she has introduced her to a group of young women from all walks of life, some who have taken a special interest in my daughter and formed friendships with her outside of the group. The group meets weekly and it is something that she looks forward to every Monday night. What a blessing!

It has been a long road on this journey with autism, but having a child with a disability has taught our entire family so many lessons, including learning to rely on God instead of ourselves, and sometimes all you need is a little faith and patience.