Let's Talk Tuesday: Strangers Behaving Badly On the Internet

The idea for this post was sparked by Ally Bean at the conclusion of her linked post. I'm sure anyone who's posted anything online in the past two decades can relate. Here are some run-ins I've had with strangers online that have stuck in my mind rent-free.

That Time I Invoked the Wrath of Satan: My oldest daughter was an extraordinary softball pitcher when she was in middle and high school. Her travel teams took her all over the U.S. and she was featured a number of times in the newspaper for pitching no-hitters. It was assumed that she would play in college, so her junior year she sent out 100 DVD's of her skills to Division II colleges in Ohio and surrounding states. Many were private institutions, and some of those were religious-based. My husband and I took turns taking her on college visits to the positive response schools. Not knowing much about some of these schools, I went to online message boards to ask the masses for their local opinions. I remember wanting more info on a Christian university outside of Philadelphia, so I went to a popular (at that time) Christian forum to ask. The very first response was from a single female from England who questioned why in the world I was only considering Christian colleges for my daughter (I wasn't) and then went on a diatribe about helicoptering parents. I wish I could remember exactly what she said, but it was NASTY. Fortunately, a few people chimed in sarcastically with, 'well, this IS a Christian message board.' I just remember it being the first time someone came after me online.

That Time I Attempted to Reverse Mansplain: On another forum, back in the early 2000's, a Texas man wondered why a 'Yankee woman' asked him to stop calling her 'Ma'am' at their workplace. He seemed to be truly flabbergasted by the encounter, so I thought I'd try to explain it to him. At least where I come from (Northeast Ohio), no woman under the age of 50 wants to be called 'Ma'am.' And now that I'm over the age of 50, I would still rather be referred to as 'Miss,' if someone feels the need to address me that way. A Ma'am is an old lady to most of us Northerners. Well, I basically started another Civil War because the post blew up by men who thought I was just plain rude for not wanting to be called Ma'am. I had to stop looking at the responses because there's only so many times you can unironically be called a bitch in one day.

That Time I Had the NRA On My Ass: A few years ago, there was a local Facebook post concerning a gun clip found in the parking lot of a local high school. As you can imagine, the community was alarmed. Eventually, a teacher came forward and said that it was his and must have, "fallen out of his car." Police stated that the teacher had a conceal carry permit, but did not have a weapon in his car. I thought the whole thing was suspicious and I commented on the post, asking if there were further details, such as why the teacher would have this item in his car and where it was located that it would have fallen out. Also, wouldn't it make a noise when it hit the ground, so how could he have not noticed? The response I received was a string of expletives labeling me a left-wing anti-gun liberal nutcase. This guy clearly would have shot me if the interaction had been in person. It was frightening.

That Time My Empathy Was Defeated: I used to enjoy Reddit for its local subs because it was a great way to hear about new restaurants and other things to do in the area. Unfortunately, I had such a bad experience last Fall that I deleted my account. I made the mistake of commenting on an Ohio subreddit (this was not a political sub) where someone said they couldn't understand why he was seeing so many Trump signs as he traveled across the state. I thought he sincerely was interested in knowing why someone in rural Ohio would vote for Trump. I said that I was empathetic to both sides of the political spectrum (I truly am split as liberal/conservative on so many issues) and that I try to put myself into other people's shoes to understand why they feel the way they do. Everyone has past experiences that have shaped the way they view the issues. I gave a few examples of this. BIG Mistake. Or should I say HUGE?? I won't even go into how bad it got. For my own mental health, I will never visit Reddit again, unless a google search leads to a post about a car problem I'm having.

Feel free to share a bad encounter you've had online, or better yet, write your own post!