Let's Talk Tuesday: Social Terrorism
I recently came across the term 'social terrorism' and it really struck a chord with me. Ever since the pandemic, I've felt more and more like polite society has disintegrated. Where are people's manners? Why has narcissism become the norm? What's with all the aggressive behavior? Can we blame all of this on social media? So many questions come to mind. Here are some behaviors I've noticed on the increase:
Road Rage: This is no longer limited to people becoming aggressive when they've felt wronged. It seems that whenever I attempt to merge onto a highway, other drivers either don't try to move over, or they intentionally speed up so that I can't merge. It's also common on our local interstates for people to be going 80-90 MPH in a 60-65 MPH zone. Lower speeds for construction zones are completely ignored. Last week, a driver pulled out in front of me from a side street on a 35 MPH road and even though I didn't beep or show any reaction, he gave me a sarcastic wave and then the middle finger. I have no clue!
Complete Obliviousness: While benign, I do not understand other shoppers' complete lack of awareness in stores. They will block an aisle with their carts and then act all surprised when they finally notice you waiting, as if they thought they were the only customers in the store. Or how about those who are chatting in front of merchandise and ignore you when you try to reach for something behind them? And multiple times recently, I've been putting my groceries on the conveyer belt (with my cart only half unloaded) and the next person in line starts unloading their cart so that I have to keep pushing back their food. And then they give me the evil eye? WTF is up with that??
Phone Etiquette: I do not want to hear your one-sided conversation while I'm trying on clothes in a dressing room. I do not want to hear your gossip while I'm buying apples. I do not want to hear about your boss while I'm at lunch with a friend. And I especially do not want to hear about the big spider in your basement while I'm at a winery with my spouse (true story, just last month!) Also, I do not want to hear your phone ringtone when I'm at a concert, in a waiting room, or the library. There's this little volume button on the side of your phone. Use it!
Appalling Behavior in General: Last week, I attended my 7-year-old grandson's baseball championship game and left with such a bad feeling, even though he scored the winning run. First, there was a delay in the middle of the game because the umpire (in his 30's, so not a kid) LEFT due to verbal assaults being thrown at him by parents and coaches, on BOTH sides! And then unbeknownst to me, the fans on the opposing team were hurling insults at our first base coach and he decided to use his phone to start recording their behavior. Immediately after the game ended, the head coach from the other side confronted our first base coach, calling him a pedophile for filming the fans on the other side (because some were kids?) and threatening to call the police, amidst other assorted language IN FRONT OF THE DUGOUT OF 7 YEAR OLD CHILDREN! A wife stepped in and separated them before any punches were thrown. The next day, my daughter told me she sent an email to the little league commissioner that the guy should not be around children, period. And to never put her son on one of his teams. My husband coached various teams for 12 years and never witnessed behavior like that (and trust me, he dealt with a lot of annoying parents).
What is an act of social terrorism that you've experienced?
YES to every single thing you shared in this post! And you can actually FEEL all this "tension" in the form of energy. You can feel it in the air. And living in a city, where you live so closely with others, it's pretty intense.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's everywhere, not just in America. Because I know of people who live in Europe, and they talk of the same thing.
I'm at a point where I have to take breaks throughout the week from social media because I find it even more intense. And much of that has to do with people not being seen. They feel like they can say and do anything online.
The things you listed here, I too have experienced.
Everyone seems to be angry. And I noticed this gradually happening more and more over the past 4-5 years. So many people in Philly walk around looking pissed off. No one smiles. And being in retail and in close contact with people, I see it all day.
"Complete Obliviousness:"
OMG, yes! People walk around like numb zombies.
I'm trying to make it my personal goal to smile and say hello to people I see on the streets (and at work), so spread some "niceness" in the air.
Great post, my friend! And one that needed to be shared. Have a fantastic week! X
Taking breaks from online activity is a must for me! And the funny thing is that after a few days, I don’t miss it. I agree that people are much more apt to be nasty if it’s not in person, although the tide is turning on that and more and more think it’s acceptable face to face. So sad!
DeleteYES! People in general are angry and/or depressed. On the other side is the numb zombies which is a good description! I love your idea of spreading niceness and I’m going to follow your example, Ron! Great idea! XO
Bijoux, your last point really is something that I have noticed and is so upsetting to me. People think NOTHING of hurling abuse at youth sports events. I have even seen people online boasting about how they "gave it" to the umpire or linesman or coach or what have you, because they didn't agree with a call or how they conduct their team. I have seen many times people proudly say that they were asked to leave because they were being too loud (and I assume, mean) - what are we teaching our children, here? Are we teaching them that if you don't like the way someone does their job, you can just yell at them? It's something so upsetting to me. It's a youth sport!
ReplyDeleteI have noticed obliviousness in the grocery stores - particularly Costco - where people will just stand in the middle of the aisle and take up all the space, but I have NEVER had someone put groceries on the conveyor belt while I'm unloading my groceries. That's next level rude!
I was just talking with a friend about driving - isn't it always the way someone aggressively passes and then you find you're next to that person at the next light? How much time do these people think they are saving?
I don't really care if I hear a one-sided phone conversation but I hate hearing ringers in quiet spaces. I was at a funeral and someone's phone went off! We all make mistakes and forget things but that's kind of a big one.
OMG, people have no shame! To brag about bullying umpires or coaches!?? That is nuts! And the worst part is, most of these people are volunteering their time to coach kids’ sports. Who needs this? I’m surprised they can even get volunteers anymore.
DeleteYes, those people who feel the need to pass you when you are doing the speed limit, and then they are next to you at a light. But they probably don’t notice, because they are on their phone 🙄
A ringer going off at a funeral is next level!
Complete Obliviousness is what I see going on often enough to make it a thing. I time my grocery shopping so that I'm in the stores when I hope the most aware shoppers will be around me. This is to the point that I don't shop on Sunday mornings when the church crowd shows up after church because those people are rude to the nth degree. It's sad, but I've learned to avoid them all. Hallelujah! 🙄
ReplyDeleteI feel like the stores are packed on Sunday mornings because no one goes to church anymore, so I avoid that time! I find T/W/Th mornings to be the best because the store is empty.
DeleteSocial terrorism is an interesting title. With the internet and especially social media it seems we have gone from keyboard warriors who would say things on line that they most definitely wouldn't say to anyone in person to now people spreading lies, misinformation, causing divide, and more. Along with people now just acting feral. It's a bit scary.
ReplyDeleteWe live in a smaller town and for the most part people are nice. I do see some of things you mentioned from time to time. Especially the entitlement and lack of respect for others. Things are definitely worse since Covid.
A 70ish woman and I almost got plowed down by a driver going straight through the Kroger parking lot. The other woman looked at me with shock and said, 'she has no clue she almost killed us.' Driving through the middle of a parking lot is one of my pet peeves to begin with. It's so dangerous.
I think a lot of Americans are just spoiled. I know there are people really struggling but I also know there are people that say they can't feed their children yet have expensive cars, devices and all the latest gadgets.
It's very sad what has happened to our society in the last twenty years. I just try to be me and treat people how I want to be treated. At least I know I'm doing my part.
This was a good post even though it's a bit depressing at the same time.
You are right; people spread a lot of misinformation. Whenever I read something that seems shocking, I google it to see if any of it is true. There's usually a kernel of truth that is then blown out of proportion. An example: "Apples are poisonous." No, apples are not poisonous, but if you chew the seeds, they do release cyanide. But you'd need to eat 200 seeds! People don't bother looking anything up to see if it's true!
DeleteParking lots are terrible! My insurance agent once told me that's where the majority of accidents/fender benders occur. I'm often close to being hit by people just driving straight through a big lot instead of going down the lanes. Or people ignoring the one way lanes.
Yes to all of this. I can be driving 65 in a 45 and still have someone riding my bumper.
ReplyDeleteAnd the obliviousness in public?? OMG—Costco is the worst. I try to go early because I honestly can’t stand people anymore.
I also hate when people are rude to coaches and umpires at games. My girls haven’t been in sports for a while, so I’m not sure what it’s like now—but I hate that the little ones at that game had to witness all of it.
It’s crazy how people speed now. I only ever belonged to Sam’s Club and that was 20 years ago. I can only imagine those warehouse places now. It’s so sad when adults behavior badly in front of children.
DeleteYes, most of what you describe also happens in Northern Ireland, though not on the same scale. People can sometimes be rude, aggressive and utterly self-centred as if that's completely normal behaviour. But most people here are as polite and considerate and helpful as you would expect them to be. The things that annoy me most are people having loud phone conversations in public and people trying to queue-jump. But I've never had people trying to hurry me along at supermarket cash desks. That's a new one on me!
ReplyDeleteCutting in line (queue jumping) isn't something I've come across since my school days, but the supermarket hurrying has been a recent development. I cannot tolerate people who talk loudly, whether it's on their phone or otherwise.
DeleteEveryone is so aggressive. No one has any sense anymore. Polite society? What's that? It's like it doesn't exist anymore.
ReplyDeletePoliteness has gone out the window, for sure!
DeleteSorry that was me- I was trying to get my real name in there anc it wasn’t working then I accidentally hit publish. It’s me Ernie. That little league game sounds horrendous. What kind of behavior are adults modeling for these children? I have heard one side of so many conversations. While shopping. Ridiculous. People are crazy. Everywhere at Curly’s bball game on Sunday a dad asked Coach if he could set up his tripod camera thing in front of us. Curly’s game was almost over. We were standing in the sideline bc there wasn’t enough seating. Coach said Sure- after the game. (The dad was getting set up for the next game). The guy stood to the side for about 20 seconds. Then he set the camera up RIGHT IN FRONT OF COACH so we couldn’t see the court anymore and mumbled THERES ONLY 10 SECONDS LEFT. Perhaps that is true BUT THEN WAIT 10 SECONDS. Goodness.
ReplyDeleteHi Ernie! We were horrified by the behavior of the “adults” at the little league game. I asked my grandson the next day about it, and he just said, “That was crazy!” I felt bad for him. What should have been a joyous time for his team turned nasty😢
DeleteOMG on the entitlement of tripod man. Honestly! That is ridiculous. SMH.
In my day to day life I do meet people who are kind, helpful, polite and good tempered.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are also those on the other side of the coin who are not and reading through your post I found that I said yes to every single point you shared.
This seems to be worldwide problem, society is not the same.
Where will it end? I really don't know ...
All the best Jan
I’m glad you meet good people the majority of the time. I feel as though I have to look harder for them these days. I try to thank customer service people who are pleasant because it has to be very difficult!
DeleteIt is so depressing to see how society has deteriorated. People are just so rude and mean-spirited. I'm so sick of here blasting music coming out of cars or phones or any other device.
ReplyDeleteIt only takes one idiot to ruin things for everybody else.
I used public transportation in NYC--which is a whole other freak show--but I hear road rage horror stories all the time. Meanness is a badge of honor with far too many people.
As I like to say, there are plenty of good people out there. Unfortunately, they're not in charge.
There is really so much hate out there and it doesn't matter where you travel, you will come across it. I guess the only thing we can do is control our own thoughts and behavior.
DeleteBack in the day, when my husband was coaching all.the.time, we did see some parents get crazy, generally at the other coaches or the umpires. But, people were removed before anything bad happened.
ReplyDeleteThe parents involved in the scenarios you shared should be appalled at themselves.
People occasionally become oblivious while in the grocery store...it's always shocking to me, but, I too can get lost in my own head here and there. :) (Never while blocking the aisle though)
I can say, I've not noticed these other behaviors aside from a handful of people on their cell phones, using the speaker instead of keeping stuff to themselves. That is very annoying. I feel like most people (at least where I've been) have been courteous on the road.
I mean, speeders are gonna speed, I just get out of their way if they are going faster than I.
Well, it sounds like Florida is not as bad as social media makes it out to be 🤣🤣🤣 My son had to explain to me about ‘Florida Man’ because I was not familiar with that whole thing. Or maybe your good experiences all happen in Georgia?
DeleteI can zone out in stores, too. I’ve had employees sneak up on me and ask if I need help and I jump a foot. I startle easy 🤓
The produce manager at Fresh Market shared the crap out of me last week. You'd thought that I thought I was ALONE.
DeleteFlorida man. Yeah, that's just one more way for people (other states) to pick on us. Yes, there are some weird folks (like everywhere) and most of them are NOT from Florida. *She screams from the top of her soap box!* Not sure why we get such a bad rap when car loads of people are moving here from other states, every single day. 🤷♀️
I get it. People seem to hate Ohio as well. People who have only flown over it to get to the other coast. Their loss! We LOVE Florida! Especially in the winter!
DeleteThis was a topical post, Bijoux, because it seems that people have lost contact with good manners, politeness and kindness. This is not to say ALL people, but there are some who can go to church on Sunday and then forget how to be civil the rest of the week.
ReplyDeleteIt seems some people ALWAYS have to be connected. One of my biggest irks is people constantly looking at their phones while walking anywhere -- on the street, in apt hallways, stores. The other phone-related one is those who have to talk while shopping or in restaurants and even restrooms.
Drivers speeding through parking lots is dangerous and also happens in the parking lot here. Then there are those folks who park in the fire lanes in front of stores while waiting to pick someone up.
I think people are truly afraid to be with their own thoughts. Restroom talking is indeed rude! I haven't noticed fire lane parking, but I'm sure I will now!
DeleteYou are so on point with this post! I don't know. People are just rude and angry anymore. I do my best when I'm driving to not engage with anyone who cuts me off or whip around me because they don't like that I'm driving the speed limit or only 5 miles over! Parents and coaches and umpires fighting has been happening for a long time. I remember way back when my son was playing little league baseball one particular game where the coaches got into a fight and both were kicked out of the game.
ReplyDeleteIt's best to not engage because you never know who has a gun while you're on the road. Yes, the sports problem has been going on for a long time. I was just shocked by the accusations being casually thrown around, for no good reason.
DeleteThat grocery store lack of awareness rankles me and Tara the most. I swear, it just speaks to everyone's sense of entitlement these days. Road rage isn't too much of an issue here (unless Tara's the one doing the driving and raging, ha!).
ReplyDeleteI don’t understand how people can be so rude. When the suddenly see me and move their cart, I don’t make eye contact. I’m hoping that conveys my disgust 🤣
DeleteSadly, civility appears to be dying in our society. And little league games can be the worse.
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible that kids are exposed to this behavior.
DeleteFirst time commenter. I agree with all of your observations. It seems as there are no manners anymore anywhere. Everyone can say/do whatever is on their mind whether it hurts others or not. It is a sad state of affairs. Joyce
ReplyDeleteYes! People have no filter and they just don’t care. Thank you for visiting!
DeleteYou've really hit on some frustrating everyday experiences here, and it's easy to see why the term "social terrorism" resonated with you. The examples of road rage, obliviousness in public, poor phone etiquette, and especially that appalling behavior at your grandson's baseball game, paint a clear picture of a decline in common courtesy. It does make one wonder about the impact of things like social media on public behavior. That baseball game incident sounds particularly disheartening, especially with 7-year-olds present. It's good your daughter reported it.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think is the single biggest facto contributing to this rise in aggressive or oblivious behavior?
That's a good question, Melody. I think we live in a volatile environment. There's so much divisiveness and anger and I believe that the pandemic fueled all of that.
DeleteThank for sharing, Bijoux!! Here’s hoping we can start a kindness comeback, one polite encounter at a time. Sometimes it helps just to know we’re not the only ones seeing all this!
ReplyDeleteI'm really trying my best to be appreciative to people in public.
DeleteOh, so much social terrorism lately! I was in Walmart in MN in June. I was almost pressed up against the granola bars looking for something when I felt a cart slam into my hip. The guy pushing it was reaching down on the opposite side of the aisle (had almost the whole width of the aisle since I was reaching for something on the shelf) but still was able to slam his cart into me. He just looked up, then kept doing his shopping. So, I pushed it back and screamed as loud as I could "You are a "f'ing moron!" And he still looked at me like I was the wrong one. No apology or anything. My husband ended up apologizing the the other shoppers in the aisle that had to hear my potty mouth, but I was beyond pissed.
ReplyDeleteLast night the car in front of us was turning right at a green light. There were pedestrians crossing, so we were held up waiting for them to be able to turn. The car behind us proceeded to lay on their horn and blast it the entire time. When they had to stop next to us at a red light, they were also on the receiving end of my f-bomb laced rant. I am so sick of entitled people out in public. I was always a conflict avoider, but perimenopause has unleashed the witch in me, so I freely speak my mind these days.
Well, your first mistake was going inside a Walmart! LOL! I can't even with that place!!!! I'm cracking up at you putting these morons on blast. But holy cow, you need to be careful because there are too many nutcases who are concealed carrying these days!
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