Long time readers may remember another incident where I tried to join an established book club in my community, with less than stellar results. Once again, I have been invited to join another book club, this time a start-up group. I do not seem to have much luck with this............My relationship to the women in this group ranged from total strangers to FB friends to someone who I have met for coffee. We were to bring suggestions for books we'd like to read with the group. I didn't bring anything. I have a wide variety of reading interests and I had no idea what sort of books this group was leaning towards. I just knew that if anyone suggested Nora Roberts, I was out of there!
Suggestions were so-so.....some books I was interested in reading, others not so much. Ironically, one woman suggested The Shack (if you don't know what the book is about, this post will make no sense to you) which is the same book that I didn't want to read with the previous group mentioned as the 'incident.' I commented that I didn't think it was a good idea to start with something so intense and we moved on.
Unfortunately, that was not the end of it. This same woman kept going back to her idea of us reading The Shack. And I kept trying to veer us away from it. Finally, she said something to this effect: "Most of you don't know my background. A friend gave me the book, thinking I could gain something from it. Twenty years ago, we lived in X City and during that time, our teenage daughter was murdered......"
I didn't hear much after that. I did hear the person next to me gasp. How does one respond to that sort of a bomb? I'm guessing that the reason she wants us to read the book is that even after all these years, she still feels a desperate need to talk about what happened, and the book would be her vehicle to do that. I don't blame her, but I'm not a therapist, nor do I desire to join a therapy group!
Maybe you should re-think the group that liked to talk about sex?
ReplyDeleteI just clicked over on the Shack link and read the synopsis.
ReplyDeleteWOW! You're right, that is intense.
"I don't blame her, but I'm not a therapist, nor do I desire to join a therapy group!"
I agree, I think that's what would end up happening. How does a parent ever get over something so devastating as that?
I certainly sympathize with not wanting to have your book club turned into a therapy group.
ReplyDeleteBut. . . good Lord! That poor woman. . . How DO you respond to a bomb like that?
Agent - I just want a book club that talks about books, but I guess that's too much to ask for.
ReplyDeleteRon - I don't think you ever get over it. A close friend of mine lost her son a few years ago to pneumonia (he had an underlying disability) and she still talks about him as if he were here. Sometimes I get confused when talking to her and then it's hard for me to not cry.
Craig - Sadly, no one really said anything. I think some already knew, but for those of us who didn't, you really just don't know what to say.
I would have been equally as dumbstruck by her words, and I can understand why you'd perhaps not be interested in this type of group, either. I love books, but I don't belong to a book club purely because I never think I can adequately articulate my feelings or thoughts about a particular book. I read a variety of things, take them in in my own fashion, and then sort of move on to the next one, and most times, I just like that, taking them in in my own way without a lot of dissection.
ReplyDeleteThat could have been my mother .....
ReplyDeleteShe's had to deal with some traumatic things in her life and is never able to move on. Were she in the same situation she would choose a book similar to her experience and harp on it until it came to pass.
Got nothing, don't know what to say and obviously I've never been able to 'manage' it in my own mother's life.
It could definitely be said that her motives were pretty transparent. I do hope that she finds people -- professional, helpful peoples -- to share her story with and feel her grief has been done justice.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I wouldn't want to be a part of that book club, either. :)
yeah, there is no response to that sort of thing and no way to delicately extricate from the topic.
ReplyDeleteFADKOG - If it's a good discussion book, I get a lot out of other people's viewpoint. The tough part is the right group AND good books.
ReplyDeleteXavier - Without counseling, I'm sure some things are too traumatic to move past.
Flutter - I'm going to go to the first real meeting and see how it goes. The book is 'The Zookeeper's Wife' so we'll see.
Lime - Yes, no real segue to that revelation.
Some things, for some people,even counseling can not help.
ReplyDeleteJust for the record what my Mom considers very traumatic differs greatly from my definition. I call it life ....